NHS

 

I work (for now), I love, I live, I have fun. Just with wheelchairs and drugs and spasms and stuff...

 
8 May 2017

Urology. Rhymes with Eurghh-ology

Urology. The dark arts of investigating malfunctioning bladder and bowels. I doff my cap to anyone who enters or leaves medical studies and says, “I know, I’ll become an expert in wee and poo and stuff.” Sadly, like many a person with Multiple Sclerosis, I’m well-acquainted with urologists and their capacity for rummaging around and describing with complete precision the shape and size of my prostate. All the while chatting to me about the time of day or this afternoon’s weather. And the title of my blog, “One man and his catheters,” may just indicate one routine I have to follow three or four times a day. The first time I did it, the nurse training me, (no, she wasn’t […]
30 April 2017

Ten Years… Happy Diagnosiversary to me!

Tuesday May 1st 2007. It was cloudy and a bit miserable I recall. Perhaps some drizzle. For the previous three or four months I’d been going through a barrage of tests for those clever-ologists to find out what was going on. My brand new neurologist, a bookish little chap with small round glasses, had made me do various eyes-closed tests, touch my nose, touch each finger to each thumb in rapid succession, and some creative variations on walking in a straight line. He had also poked my feet with a pin a few times. I hadn’t realised how numb they were until that point. Still a bit ouchy though. My new urologist, meanwhile (the waterworks specialist), poked me and rummaged […]
10 March 2017

Death sentences and Life sentences. The blue pill or the red pill?

Hurrah! I’m out of hospital after a total of 13 nights fighting a bladder infection and temperatures twice steaming scarily over 41 degrees.. My ward routine that started around 5am with a rude awakening for blood pressure checks and a refreshed IV drip is no more. It’s been replaced these last mornings with a gorgeous 6.30am start, the time my two much-missed children are allowed to start bounding around the house before school. I’m utterly exhausted and I’m blissfully relieved… My last five hospital nights were spent in a ward of four chaps including myself. One stubborn but lovely old gent of 89 also recovering from an infection. A big nose, a big smile and capable of humongous, prolonged noises […]
5 March 2017

On Porridge and Patients…

So my escape from hospital was brief by any depressing standard. Out Saturday evening in time for a delicious Thai takeaway, shared with my equally delicious wife. All the ‘deliciousier’ after five nights of beyond bland (‘they try their best’) hospital food. A lovely lazy Sunday with the family. Blue-lighted back in on Monday evening with another raging temperature, paralyzing cramp, and a brand new sensation to take in, a bladder in spasm! Indescribable but most definitely bizarre and thoroughly horrible. Usual routine of an overlong stay in A&E and a confused couple of nights in an Assessment Ward. Then out into exactly the same ward as last week, and happily, a new selection of three different chaps to share […]