Tuesday May 1st 2007. It was cloudy and a bit miserable I recall. Perhaps some drizzle.
For the previous three or four months I’d been going through a barrage of tests for those clever-ologists to find out what was going on.
My brand new neurologist, a bookish little chap with small round glasses, had made me do various eyes-closed tests, touch my nose, touch each finger to each thumb in rapid succession, and some creative variations on walking in a straight line. He had also poked my feet with a pin a few times. I hadn’t realised how numb they were until that point. Still a bit ouchy though.
My new urologist, meanwhile (the waterworks specialist), poked me and rummaged round in rather different places. Though fortunately not with a pin.
Off I was sent for a scan of my brain and spine (MRI). Strange, unpleasant, buzzy. They forgot to scan my spine so I had to go back. Strange, unpleasant, buzzy again. I blogged about one recently, trying my best to describe the awkwardness of it all… My, oh my, oh MRI
And a lumbar puncture, otherwise known as a spinal tap in the USA and in the world of pop… It’s truly horrible, lying side-on in the foetal position and having a doc drill millimetres away from your spine to extract a few drops of liquid. After the pain-killers, the sensation was a ‘grinding’ one. But it hurt like buggery for three or four days afterwards.
Finally a very strange test – as if the others weren’t bizarre – where I had to watch some dots on a screen while receiving constant mild electric shocks to my hand. Ours not to reason why…
Weeks had passed by while the experts scratched their chins knowingly. Or more likely while my file sat in a sky high in-tray gathering dust. And all that time Mrs W and I sat there with rising blood pressure, biting our nails and wondering what was wrong with me. Joining the dots, we suspected it might be serious… Constant pins and needles; weakness in my left leg whenever we went for a walk or a run or a bike ride; bladder issues, with many a quick roadside stop, many a tree and bush enjoying my emergency visits; and ‘blue pill’ sales doing very well thank you…
A neurology appointment letter finally crashed onto our doorstep, but it was set for a month or more away. We just couldn’t wait that long. Suspecting our GP might already know, we booked a hasty appointment with him. Big mistake. Huge. Our GP did know, but did he care? Had he thought about how to to tell us I had an incurable disease? That MS symptoms vary from person to person and that the disease can be just as extremely mild as it can be extremely serious? Of course not.
The conversation is hazy in my mind, but I remember the GP’s attitude. Relaxed, chatty, arrogant. As if he was telling us I had a verruca. He sent us off with no information or reassuring words whatsoever and I remember his closing nonchalant farewell, “Good luck old chap!” Grrr… If he wasn’t retired now, I’d find a way to get him retired. The rest of the surgery is great so I won’t name and shame.
Home we drove in a daze and after a tearful hug, onto google I headed. Another big mistake. Huge. Within minutes, because it’s usually the worst cases that make the headlines, I decided I had only a few years to live at best, and effectively my life was over.
Happily, I couldn’t have been more wrong. Life is good, if challenging on a daily basis. With the love and support of family, friends, colleagues, carers, charities, volunteers, social media, health professionals and my amazing employers, I’m ok, honest. I need a wee though. And maybe a nap.
I dedicate this blog to incompetent GP’s everywhere. Thankfully they are in the minority.